Media, oh media. Are you bias?

Nowadays, not secret anymore that anyone need information, and that's why it called information era. But.... is the media is right? Are the media bias in giving information? Are they only giving information based on sales rating?, and so on.

Several media has bad reputation in giving or sharing information. Let's say forums. Is this forum legible based on the fact? or simply, anyone think out of something then write them in the forum? I dont know, cant really answer that question. Because it involving people in there, are they bias or not? Are they based on fact or even just a conspiration theory and so on so fort. Sometimes, many user posting something that will flaming specific race or belief, well, that will make out something out of people in the forum, and that's not intelect at all. What I mean that, why they dont posting something that is intelectual in the sense of writing, words and the way of thought. Not by accusing someone or something and then take generalization of that matter. This is specially true to free topic forum like example kaskus.us, making the forum famous, not by the quality of the post, but by the quantity of the post and the absurd of the information posted (though i'm not make generalization that every postings are crap, there are useful ones, believe me).

Worse, those hoax, unreliable and uninformative posting gather the most reply and the most view. Is that the persons, or the information exactly? I cant reply this, just let the reader decide what is the answer.

Ah.... what a nice and also a tiring day

recently, my cousin bought a new laptop, toshiba satelite. Well, the look is decent, but the things inside are quite good one and also relatively cheap. it runs win vista with aero interface. good look, i think, but suddenly i know that the laptop isnt quite fast for win vista yet. coz, for the 1st time run, it was so damn slow, but i think for a business user, it wont give any negative effect yet. I want to try win vista, but i know my pc is so slow, already obsolete. ah... wait for the day i can upgrade them again. anyway, just happy with what i've already got these days. expecting to much will make myself get less (absolutely).

Another test

Aku ga tau harus bagaimana lagi. Terus terang saja, skrg ini aku lagi bingung2nya. Sepertinya semua dunia disekelilingku hancur begitu saja. Kemaren M memintaku untuk tidak mengganggunya selama seminggu, sampai skrg aku masih berpikir dan menerka-nerka apa yang bakalan terjadi. Tapi kemungkinan terbesar adalah dia akan meninggalkanku, entah kenapa aku yakin sekali dengan hal ini. Tapi terus terang, aku masih suka dan sayang padanya, tidaklah mungkin untuk meninggalkannya. Dia sempurna untuk dijadikan pendampingku. Mungkin ini yang namanya suatu test kehidupan, tapi yang ini terlalu sulit bagiku, sehingga susah untukku menerima dan menjalaninya. Aku bener2 bingung akan keadaan disekelilingku. Belum lagi persoalan keluarga yang kian meruncing dan sepertinya tak terselesaikan. Byknya birokrasi yang harus diurus untuk membuat suatu keputusan. Ibu yang makin lama makin anjlok mental-nya, lemah dan rapuh. Diriku yang menjadi anak pertama pun tidak berdaya untuk mengubah semua ini.
Diantara persoalan tersebut, persoalan si M lah yang menjadi pusat perhatianku. Aku gundah, tidak bersemangat, sehingga aku ingin memarahi semua orang. Emosiku tdk stabil dikarenakan hal tersebut. Kemaren waktu dia mengatakan hal ini di sms, aku sempat kaget, tertegun dan hampir tidak ingin membalas smsnya. Aku takut, takut akan ditinggalkannya, takut akan kehilangannya. Aku benar2 takut. Ya TUHAN, apakah ini jalan yang TUHAN berikan? Aku mohon padaMU, jgnlah beri aku keputusan yang buruk dan sulit. Lindungilah aku, dan aku berharap aku dan dia bisa bersama selamanya. Akan kuusahakan yang terbaik untuknya, dan hanya untuknya saja. Semoga juga semua yang melarang hubungan kita, bisa mengerti akan ini, dan mencoba untuk menerima. Aku mohon padaMU, ya TUHAN. Semoga TUHAN mendengar pintaku ini.

Again and again, broken!!

OK, I'll talk in my own language, better than this.
Setelah sekian lama tidak mem-blog, akhirnya saya pingin mem-blog lagi. Dikarenakan banyaknya masalah yang timbul, banyaknya cobaan yang datang, semuanya seakan tak habisnya, dan dari sana jugalah yang mendorong wa untuk memblog lagi.

OK, wa nge-clearin masalah wa. Wa pacaran dgn cewe, inisial "M", sudah hampir 5 bulan. Walaupun wa dah berusaha untuk memberi kasih sayang yg tak terkira, tapi, sepertinya wa tidak dapat tanggapan yang positif, alias gantung2. Memang dia dah ada cowo-nya juga, tapi wa pengen tau kenapa dia ga bisa melepaskan cowonya itu. Tadi kita ketemu, kita ngobrol banyak (er, ga begitu byk juga), dia ceritakan kalo cowonya itu acuh ga acuh, agak kasar, walau dia lebih mapan. Sedangkan aku, hanyalah org bodoh yg pengen digantung2, tidak ada apa2nya, jelek, keras kepala dan sebagainya yang jelek2. Hubungan wa dgn M juga tidaklah lancar, memang kadang ada adu argumentasi, tapi yang paling tidak wa terima adalah nyokap wa yg tidak menyetujui wa berpacaran dgn M. Entah karena statusnya, ntah karena dah punya pacar atau gimana.

Wa bener2 tidak tahu hrs bagaimana, wa juga dah meminta M untuk memberi jawaban, wa dah beri dia 2 hari untuk memikirkan hal2 ini. Walau wa bener2 suka, sayang padanya, tapi wa tak berdaya sama sekali. Setelah adanya kabar tak sedap juga sampai di telinga nyokapnya. Wa ga tau apa ini yg namanya cinta terlarang, maksudnya dilarang disana sini. Wa bener2 ga tau harus bertanya pada siapa, dan hrs berbuat bagaimana.

Sementara itu, M telah diminta pacarnya untuk menikahinya dalam 2 tahun kedepan. Wa tidak tau apa yg hrs kulakukan. Wa juga ingin menikahinya, tapi sepertinya itu tidak mungkin sekali dilakukan. Sepertinya dalam waktu dekat, hatiku dan diriku akan hancur lagi. Kenapa TUHAN memberi cobaan yang seperti ini? Kenapa DIA asik bermain dan mengejekku? Ya TUHAN aku mohon, hentikanlah candaan ini. Aku hanya menginginkan kebahagian, seseorang yang aku cintai, dan dia mencintaiku. Status apapun tidaklah aku pedulikan sama sekali. Mengapa banyak sekali tangan-tangan yang tidak berhubungan mencampuri urusan yang beginian. Memang harusnya aku mensukuri bahwa TUHAN setidaknya memberi kesempatan untukku menikmati masa2 indah seperti ini, tapi kenapa harus berakhir yang tidak menyenangkan, apa maksudnya ini? Ya TUHAN, tolonglah, aku mohon, jangan beri aku cobaan yang lebih berat lagi, aku mohon untuk melancarkan hubungan aku dengannya, tanpa embel2 ada cowonya ato apapun. Ya TUHAN, apakah aku memang hanya sebagai cadangan/permainan olehnya? Aku inginkan jawaban, bukanlah masalah. Aku mohon, mohon dan memohon padamu TUHAN.

Whoa!!

I rarely blog now... Think I got so little time, so many things to do. Well, got no many words to write. I'm so busy recently. I'm taking short course of graphic design, hope that will my art skill better. Other than that, I made a stupid poem. Not good at all, but just a little expression from my heart. O, God, please strengthen my heart, soul and will. Make me positive more than ever. Make my day better than yesterday. Those are my prayer, may my prayer be heard by Thou.

PS. Sweetie, where are you now? Why dont you never answer my messages?

Opposite attraction

The sun, has the moon as the company
The dark, has the light as the complement
Even the sorrow, has the bliss as the cover

Am I the one who has no opposite attraction in this world?
Am I the one who meant to be incomplete?
Am I the one who being the forgotten one?

Uh, seem there's no answer for me...
Neither solution nor the problem...
Simply think there's no space in heaven for me either

Hoping for miracle is not an option
Waiting will make me go nowhere
Inside I'm dead, alive outside, take no difference

It seems I AM the forgotten one,
The incomplete one,
The one who casted away

Why I am still complaining and on and on

I'm always complaining, make excuses and so on. Why? Why me? and why am i complaining anyway? I try to grab happiness, but it always one step in front of me. Like today, that cute girl, the girl next door (it is), is not show up in the store. I missed her. First time, I thought there's no way I will search out for her. But, the fact, I search out for her. I didnt know if that's love or is it. I thought I will fall for other girl, not her, but seem that i'm wrong. I'm so stupidly wrong.
I longing for a miracle right now. I really need a miracle. Show her to me again. Oh Lord, dont make her far from me.

What am i exactly...

Well, I need to ask God, what am i exactly? Why there are so many opportunity, but i dont grab them, instead, i always let them passed. What am i thinking exactly? SO STUPID OF ME!
This is exactly THAT just passed tru this night. I went to DIES NATALIES (whatever it is, which is ceremony of a local college in my hometown), I'm not their alumnies or student, but I got ticket from my fren. Anyway, everything seem just like usual, nothing happen (weird or extreme), but suddenly, someone grabbed my attention. She is ok, but after a couple times i watch her, it seem like i seen her before. But I dont know where or when. OK, besides the bullshit, I think I like her. But, you know, I always miss the chances (I am the stupid guy, har har har, loser me!).
Well, I dont know if that was still any miracle happen in this earth, if there was, then I beg for this miracle to give me chance *again* to meet this girl.
I always make excuses, that's make me weak. I can talk to her that time, but I pretend that I'm cool. Fuck that cool, fuck that negative thinking! I know that I can, and the God will assist the special way to it. I *really* wait for that miracle, If God still give me chance.