What am i exactly...

Well, I need to ask God, what am i exactly? Why there are so many opportunity, but i dont grab them, instead, i always let them passed. What am i thinking exactly? SO STUPID OF ME!
This is exactly THAT just passed tru this night. I went to DIES NATALIES (whatever it is, which is ceremony of a local college in my hometown), I'm not their alumnies or student, but I got ticket from my fren. Anyway, everything seem just like usual, nothing happen (weird or extreme), but suddenly, someone grabbed my attention. She is ok, but after a couple times i watch her, it seem like i seen her before. But I dont know where or when. OK, besides the bullshit, I think I like her. But, you know, I always miss the chances (I am the stupid guy, har har har, loser me!).
Well, I dont know if that was still any miracle happen in this earth, if there was, then I beg for this miracle to give me chance *again* to meet this girl.
I always make excuses, that's make me weak. I can talk to her that time, but I pretend that I'm cool. Fuck that cool, fuck that negative thinking! I know that I can, and the God will assist the special way to it. I *really* wait for that miracle, If God still give me chance.