Award for dumbest of the year!

Yeah, I should got this award for sure. Fall in someone's trap for two times, and heartbroke two times. What a dumbass. What exactly she is trying up to? I really dont understand. I really sux. Hoping for star falling in my feet twice. What am I thinking exactly? Am I dreaming again? For two times? With the same person? In the same condition? With the same result? Oh, God, please.... no more test for me. It is just too hurting me. I feel broken, unspiritted. If you want me to forget her, why you still offer her as the bait? Why, oh why? I just trying to get up straight, trying to walk up hoping for brighter future, but why still tease me with Your punishment to me? That is too much for me, I can't bear it. If You still tease me like that, I'd rather die, than to bear that feeling again. Why this happened to me? You know I looking for 'the one', but keep tease me with someone that already broke me is not a good reason to stay alive.
For God sake, I REALLY fall for her two times. And I dont know what am I need to do. Confuse, brokenhearted, defeated, are just several words about me. There are some more to come. If You love me, please, end it, or continue it. That is just my only pray to you. Please, help!! GBM!