Why I am still complaining and on and on

I'm always complaining, make excuses and so on. Why? Why me? and why am i complaining anyway? I try to grab happiness, but it always one step in front of me. Like today, that cute girl, the girl next door (it is), is not show up in the store. I missed her. First time, I thought there's no way I will search out for her. But, the fact, I search out for her. I didnt know if that's love or is it. I thought I will fall for other girl, not her, but seem that i'm wrong. I'm so stupidly wrong.
I longing for a miracle right now. I really need a miracle. Show her to me again. Oh Lord, dont make her far from me.